January 29, 2009

Conflicts are so complicated.

I was parking my car at a store tonight, and I had to squeeze between two bigger cars in order to fit in the parking space. It wasn't my first choice, but there was slush covering the parking lot and I wanted to be relatively close to the entrance. When I came back to my car after getting what I needed inside, the only large vehicle remaining was the one on my left, and I had to squeeze between our two cars in order to get into the driver's side. I peered inside the vehicle next to mine, and the man in the driver's seat was looking at me and shaking his head in disgust that I parked so close to him.

Hmm. Is that how so many minor conflicts and misunderstanding's happen? Being the peacemaker I am, I wanted to explain to him that I had to squeeze between his car and another person's car (which was now MIA), and it wasn't that I am rude or self-seeking or not paying attention. I can clearly see that this is not a big deal...I just don't want to contribute to an elderly gentleman's bitter opinion of "young kids these days". I'm an explainer- I always want to explain but I never do because it would sound just plain ridiculous. I guess the world will keep spinning around. Next time I get irritated with someone's decision that I don't understand, I'll relent and assure myself there may be other possibilites...maybe.

January 29, 2009

I always wonder about letting my frustrations show when I'm at work in the restaurant. I try not to complain about bad tips and especially try not to flaunt great tips. But what about when customers come in at 9:30 on a night we close at 10:00, and sit there talking and playing cards until 11:00 (an hour past close)? Is a person allowed to show a little frustration then? I completely understand if someone does that at a coffeehouse, where the place is the entertainment itself, but not at a nice Italian restaurant. I tried being the strong, silent type once again and I kept my mouth shut to the hostesses and bartenders. Everyone was upset...none of us could leave until this big table left, and they were taking their time. I always wonder in situations like this if it's a cultural thing. This particular table was from Asia and I wonder if, in Asia, that's socially acceptable (and not just if you know the restaurant's owners). I guess one day I'll find out.

Well besides all that mischief in the wonderful world of adult work, life is good. Tips are a huge blessing. Being in a heated apartment with food and a good lookin' man is priceless.

A hilarious event happened tonight on our way home from the restaurant. A huge snow and ice storm just passed through in the last few days, and there are cars getting stuck everywhere. We passed a girl who was stuck in the entrance of a street, so we pulled over to stop and help her. She just needed a good push. There was another guy coming from across the street with the same motive and we were all around the same age. We let her know we'd help her and this guy, Pete, and I started shoving. Well, halfway through, this other dude just face plants into the snow and ice...making this hilarious little "umph!!" on his way down! I felt so terrible for him but I couldn't help laughing at this grown man stumbling headfirst into a pile of snow. Made my night!

January 26, 2009

The best thing in the world is to be snowed in (or iced in, in our case) with good friends, desserts, and board games galore. It’s simply the best, no doubt about it.. I have to admit that Pete and I basically invited ourselves over to Callie and Laura’s apartment…but we were aching for good company, and they weren’t willing to drive to us because of the roads. So, we bought them with the price of apple crisp, and were welcomed to apartment 54B just like that.

If you’ve never played the game Settlers of Catan, you need to. It is the best game I’ve ever played. So is Bananagram. Word games are awesome.. Also, on the topic of things that are the best, I’d have to recognize Donald Miller as one of the best authors I’ve ever experienced, and I’m ecstatic to say that I just finished his book Through Painted Deserts. Now I’m on to Searching for God Knows What…because I am. By the way, if I'm starting to sound creepy about Donald Miller...it's only because Pete bought me two of his books for Christmas...I'm 100% into my husband and not some guy who's thoughts I've only interacted with by looking within the pages of his thoughts...just to clarify :)

But anyway. Is that what life is? Being ecstatic over other people’s adventures? The other day on my friend's blog, she wrote, “Oh my gosh, I hate that girl Shannon from the Bachelor…she needs to get kicked off!!!” And “Sydney Bristow has the best job ever…CIA field agent! She’s awesome, let’s watch her for three hours tonight!”…instead of finding our own adventures. Or maybe we’re more interested in posting our adventures online to convince other people that we really are living the life….whether it be a happy marriage, life in a beach town, all the mission trips we go on…whatever.(Tribute to Alias though...great show.)

I got a little taste of adventure tonight when Pete and I decided to walk across National Avenue to Price Cutter to get the ingredients for apple crisp.. Slipping and sliding and running across the icy road and feeling the terribly cold wind and ice on my face…it stung and it was magnificent. Well, I didn’t think so at the time. At the time, I was whining that by the time we started making our way back to our apartment, the wind would change directions so the ice would hit us in the face all the way back as well. But now that I think about it, it was great.

I’m all about bad weather because it is so dang exciting. The power might go out, and if it does, that forces us to action. Fill the bathtub, let the faucets drip, light some candles, snuggle under piles of blankets. Our own little adventure in our own little world, and one we’d love to share out loud someday.

January 25, 2009

Waiting. Waiting for a sign to show us our way this summer, my life is nothing less than consumed with three things: eating, sleeping, and checking the weather for some excitement. Satisfaction is hard to find, and a meaning for life is as dead as this winter feels. It’s winter outside, and it’s winter in my life.

Extraordinary feels far away, but everything is super-sized all around me, offering money and objects that please me and trends that will be buried this time next year. Grocery stores overwhelm me with their endless amounts of food and products, and at the restaurant I work in, food is thrown away in abundance because it’s against the law to take it home, for fear it will be used to feed hungry mouths outside the restaurant walls. What a waste and what a tragedy.

I want something so much more than all this abundance and waste. I want greatness and usefulness. I know where that lies, but I can’t seem to get there because I’m in this massive hole waiting for an answer as to where my life is going. There are walls all around me so I can’t go anywhere and I can’t start anything because I know I’m leaving soon, and I can’t stand the thought of starting something good and then leaving it behind. Or maybe I’m afraid to start?

I resolved to read the entire Bible this year, three or four chapters a day, and five on Sunday’s. For the first part of January, I was so excited about it, and always wanting to get into it. Slowly my excitement dwindled and now I haven’t read it in a week. I’m going to read the Word tonight. It’s a part of the Lord I want to learn more about, because He knows Everything there is to know about me.

I’ve said to the Lord: Anytime, Anywhere, Anyplace. He knows that I liked to plan and map things out….and although I love change itself, I don’t like unexpected change. I don’t want to make a habit out of bossing around the Lord, so I can’t come to expect He’ll do things my way. He knows where my heart is and I’m sure He’s waiting patiently to direct me. However, I’m stuck here in this winter waiting impatiently for an answer that I expect. What am I supposed to do with myself in the meantime?

If all there was in life was eating, sleeping, and checking the weather, we would be bored out of our minds. I’m bored already and it’s been a day. I think that Satan drives us to boredom for fear that we’ll experience something greater, more impulsively grand than just the daily grind of our American lives.

I desire to experience beauty again. That’s why I’m gun-ho about this road trip to Arizona with Callie. It’s all I can think about because I want to drive all night, sleep in the car, look up at the stars, know that the Lord created them for my pleasure, look up at mountains that remind me how very small and insignificant I am, experience the dryness of the desert just so I can feel my body again, drive through towns and cities that tell me there’s a huge world out there, and instead I’ve allowed myself to become bored in Springfield- right in the middle of a grandiose country that varies from coast to coast. I am so tempted to wake up at 5 a.m. tomorrow morning and drive to Colorado and back in the same day. EXPERIENCE!!! That’s what my heart is crying out for. Even BAD experiences, things to remember and discuss! I’m looking forward to this road trip so I can do away with my preconceived notion that everything must be planned out and perfect, and when things change, I want to learn to roll with it instead of getting thrown off balance and getting upset. I wish to be more laid back and the strong, silent type.

I always think that anywhere else is better than where I am. A few years ago back in Highland, I just knew that when I went away to college, that new place would be better, more exciting, more opportune, than where I currently was. Now, I’m four years older and convinced that anywhere else other than here (or Highland) will be better than this. Yet I’m feeling called back to the very place I escaped four years ago to come to this place. Maybe the Lord wants to teach me that every place is kind of the same…and it gets dull after a while, and you get to know people and realize that relationships also reach a certain point… and that leaving people and places behind doesn’t mean you’re above them or better than them…but that you’re just somewhere different now, and you’ll be somewhere different over and over again but never get to that perfect place that never gets old.

It feels good to think after experiencing a day where my husband was doing the thinking and I was doing the sleeping to escape the thinking. But the thinking his come, and I am glad.

Tribute to Donald Miller

If I could tell you, Donald Miller, that your book Through Painted Deserts was indeed a success, I hope you would believe me. I don't know why people in this century weren't led to read it as they saw it chilling on the bookshelf, but I think that in the coming years, it may be a discovered masterpiece. Thank you for keeping a few copies out there and only buying four for yourself...I appreciate that. Your books are fantastic, and your thoughts are priceless. Thanks Don :)