Awaiting the city shock to come

Culture shock is what’s going to be happening this time next month. Maybe just city shock, but either way, it’s going to affect both Pete and me. We’re moving from Springfield, Missouri to the heart of St. Louis. Even though we both grew up on the outskirts of big cities, neither of us have ever lived in the center of a major city.

There won’t be grass as far as the eye can see. When we look out our window, instead of seeing a beautiful golf course with a line of trees, we’ll see the old post office- a gray wall. When we step outside, we’ll be surrounded by metal and glass and cement. Was this such a good idea?

I used to LOVE the idea of living in a city. What appealed to me then? Nightlife- bustling- little cafes and coffee shops- shopping- neon lights- tall buildings- grandeur- artists. Unfortunately, when I view all that now, I see that those niceties require money.

I am going to miss my friends so much. And fresh air. And windows that open all the way. And a golf course view. And our church. And open spaces where I know I can breathe. And car rides...anywhere. And the loop that Pete and I walk almost daily. I’ll even miss the Olive Garden we work at- the people are amazing and they’ve become our friends. I’ll miss being able to see dark clouds rolling in. I’ll miss how friendly people are.

I won’t miss gross carpet. I’ll like taking an elevator to my loft (I think). I’ll enjoy the rooftop. I will love going to Forest Park and the Arch. I will LOVE going ice skating at Steinberg in the winter. I’ll love the first time I take Pete up in the arch. I hope we go to the Landing a lot. I hope we can find a place to take long walks. I hope my photography business is a success this year. I will love living closer to my dad…but I still won’t love the drive. I hope we go to Cardinal’s games!

I’ll have to learn the bus system. I’ll have to stop at traffic lights when I go on a run or walk. I’ll be giving a chunk of my schedule to family. I’ll have to adapt to living by family! I’ll have to find a new church. I’ll have to make new friends. I’ll have to get to know downtown. I’ll have to get used to city noises.

I know that we’re not supposed to stay in Springfield. I just hope our time in St. Louis really does have a purpose. To experience this time without a purpose would be so wasteful. I hope we can make it into everything it’s meant to be. Big Prayer.

Ultimately, deciding to live in downtown St. Louis was my escape route from having to live near Highland again. I know that and I think that’s ok. I’m not ashamed and it’s not a secret.

The most comforting thought is that I’ll be doing all this not on my own- but with the love of my life and best friend and brother: Pete. And of course, my Savior will be leading us every step of the way. I hope he will especially be present when it comes to family matters.

This is going to be an experience.

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Totally random side note. Today something happened to me that I've sometimes heard of happening to other people- but got to experience for myself the first time today. From the beginning, a detailed account:

I was trying to print off my wedding photography contract to send off to the bride. My printer ink must have been running low on black because it just wasn't working. Pete, my loving and patient man, tried helping me but I was frustrated and snapped at him. I told him I wasn't mad at him, just at the situation. I got frustrated So easily and fast! And I knew it. But it was just one of those moments.

I gave up and complied with the printer, making the ink blue. Next on my list was to take care of an unwarranted bill that a hospital keeps sending me. I got mad at them because of how unnecessary the whole process was (that keeps repeating itself). Then, like a cherry on top, I got angry with one of our Olive Garden managers for not helping us with some paperwork we needed.

I decided this was a good time to go the post office to mail out that contract- and to let off some steam, cool down, and most importantly, get me away from Pete before I snapped at him again. On my way there, I thought a sonic "happy hour" cherry limeade sounded great. I didn't look at the clock- I was sure it was past 2:00. I went through the drive through, ordered, and they gave me the full price instead of half off. When I pulled up to the window, I said, "Isn't it happy hour?" The girl said, "No, not yet." I looked at the clock and said, "Well, I guess I'll be back in 2 minutes then." She said, "Five." I said, "Oh, I guess our clocks are different." And I left. Um...I didn't return. Yes, I made a cherry limeade go to waste and I feel a little regretful of that. As I was leaving Sonic, I yelled, "This is a BAD DAY!!!" (In all fairness, it had only been a bad 30 minutes. What a drama queen.) Not even half a second later, this song came on the radio:

"Say hey, it's a good day. Even when things aren't going my way. Jesus is Lord and I am saved so, say hey, it's a good day."

Uhhhhhhhhhhh. What could I do? I smiled. And I knew it was true. I appreciated God's humor in that moment, because He knew how to get to me.

I proceeded to drive home, apologized to Pete, told him about the song that was sent to me, and treated him to a shake at DQ.