Sweet Jesus Christ, my Sanity.

Well, it's been a while since any thoughts have emerged out of this mind. Funny how revelations come and go- didn't Paul say something about that? Maybe not- but I vaguely remember someone smart saying that spirituality and a relationship in general will always have its ups and downs and in-betweens.

Sweet Jesus Christ, my sanity.
Sweet Jesus Christ, my clarity.

Working in such a high-stress environment such as Olive Garden has really been teaching me a lot lately. And getting to me a lot, and making me lose my patience, and making me want to quit. It sometimes fuels my hate for people- servers, customers, managers- and I resign to complaining. As of late, tips have been less than appealing, and people really just aren't as friendly. (And if they're super friendly, you know that's your tip!) Everything annoys me. People are always in my way. What an excuse to whine.

Sweet Jesus Christ, my sanity.
Sweet Jesus Christ, my clarity.

I could write a book about all of my crazy experiences in the restaurant business. All in good humor, of course. There's the lady who looks around for her glass of water, as it sits diagonal to her, and blankly looks at me and says, "Could I please have a glass of ice water? I'm parched." And then there's the table of 8 who are super friendly, polite, and low maintenance throughout the entirety of their meal- and of course I know why when I receive a $3.00 tip on a $78.00 ticket. And on the flip side, there's the table who is needy and peculiar and thinks they're my only table, but in the end, they leave me more than twenty percent. Oh, and did you know that ten percent is the new twenty percent? And of course- and these are my favorite- there are the people who think the salad comes free with the table.

Sweet Jesus Christ, my sanity.
Sweet Jesus Christ, my clarity.

I'll probably keep slipping up and keep slipping up, complaining about all these people who I often disdain (and for sure I used to be one), and I'll get mad at fellow servers for the inconvenience they've lent me, and the two seconds they've put me behind schedule. I'll long to get revenge on those servers who have disrespected me and left their personal food on my freshly cleaned table. I'll want to take a swing at the ones who steal my sugars right off my table, in front of my eyes, and when confronted about it, only say "I'll give you some sugar, heh heh heh."

Sweet Jesus Christ, my sanity.
Sweet Jesus Christ, my clarity.

I, for sure, will not be Christlike when all these little annoyances happen. And I probably won't try because that is just the last straw. I quit. I'm done. I got yelled at by the temper-fit manager for the last time.

Or maybe- I could try?

Sincerely, it's going to take the Sweet Jesus Christ I've heard about my whole life to convince me of this possibility. To clear me of my insanity, and to bring me clarity. When I first started working at Olive Garden, I saw it as an opportunity to not only serve the people who come in to fill their stomachs, but to also get to know fellow servers on an intimate level. And then, all of a sudden, I just got too comfortable. Hearing everyone else complain about how awful this job was made it okay for me too, I guess. Or maybe it's just my own nature that makes it so easy.

I've learned that even though I may kill customers with my kindness, if I'm not doing it with love (true, pure love), it's nothing. "But if I have not love, I am nothing." Even though I don't like to admit to not learning things the first, second, or third time- it's true. It takes repetition and learning the hard way for me, almost every time. At work, it's hearing the negativity coming out of my mouth that stops me in my tracks and makes me rethink my mission at Olive Garden.

I'm only there for four more weeks. And then it's off to a new season of life- leaving behind best friends, our best married-friends, a place we've loved living for the past five or so years. The lessons I've learned here in the sticks of Missouri are amazing. I've completed college, started a business, and yeah, used my degree at Olive Garden. ;) I made incredible college friends, apartment friends, and connections that I hope will last a lifetime. I'm used to picking up and going off on new adventures, so leaving doesn't bother me. It's what we're leaving that makes me emotional. We are leaving something so good and entering something so unknown, and kinda hard. Going back to the my "home city", the STL, wasn't exactly in the plan, you know. It's actually going against the plan.

Oh well. It's not my plan anyway.

:)