Confessions

I think we all have habits in our lives that we're a little ashamed of, but don't want to think too hard on because it will force us to think about changing. For me, I always say, "Tomorrow- I'll start tomorrow" on whatever it is I'm never going to accomplish. Tomorrows turn into a year of yesterdays and I begin to feel a little down on myself because I'm not self-disciplined enough to change one teensy tiny little thing about myself.

Welcome to my embarrassing confession. I guess I should say...

Hi. I'm Liz. I'm addicted to sugar and eating in general. I can't tell when I'm actually hungry or when I'm just bored.

I think this might be an American condition. And while, in one way, I feel blessed to look around and have an abundance of food at my fork, I think it is a sad condition. Most people in this world aren't afforded the luxury to be addicted to food, sugar, and caffeine. It's a disease of the rich. I'm inspired this week by two close friends who started a juice diet together a few days ago. They are basically juicing EVERYTHING that could ever be juiced. No sugar added, of course.

So yesterday, I decided to do something for myself. I am actually pretty proud for trying to listen to my stomach instead of my head (or mouth), because my diet has improved the tiniest bit since this weekend at the Made In Hawaii Festival. My diet consisted of:

Mountain Dew & Pepsi
Laffy Taffy & Snickers (yes, I'm still 5 years old)
1 deliciously delectable salad
1 semi-healthy granola bar
Panda Express
Brownies & Funfetti Cake

Wow. I'm so ashamed. :) Not only am I still 5 years old, but I am a very UNHEALTHY 5 year old! To be fair, that's not even CLOSE to my normal diet (I'm not a huge soda drinker and I don't guzzle Laffy Taffy's daily) but under the circumstances, I was in an arena, surrounded by food stands, for 10 hours a day and I felt the urge to munch. And munch. And munch. You get it. Next time, I think I'll pick trail mix, nuts, and berries.


So far, this week, I have forced myself to think about such things and I have to say, thinking does this ole girl some good. I've discovered the most delicious Mango Papaya Seed dressing, sold by a local company & homemade here in Hawaii. I put together this salad for my last two lunches and I'm sold on it. As for other meals, I'm slowly trying to decipher between feeling hungry and feeling the need to chew on something. I'm like a horse. I've splurged on 3 painfully small cherry cokes at a dinner party, and had a few Zebra cakes, but I've added calamari, bruschetta, lettuce, fruit, and lots of water to the mix. I want to keep trying this out because if I continue in my self-destructive pattern of Mountain Dew's and Laffy Taffy's, there will be no way I'm making it to 40-something, let alone being a good-lookin' 40-something. ;)

For me, this isn't about losing weight. Somehow, insanely, I'm right at my appropriate body mass index and feeling good. I do exercise and I'm active and I'm a sanguine so it all adds up to me burning more calories than I eat (I hope...). It's more about self-discipline and not just eating to eat. It's a habit and I will go so far as to say it's an addiction. Just like smoking, drinking, or anything, eating&eating&eating is an addicition. Why else would the bible warn us of gluttony? Phillipians 3:19 says, "Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with their minds set on earthly things." Hmmm.

It's an age-old complex. Kudos to my amazing hubs for realizing this, but the first sin had everything to do with food. That's why I think this is bigger than just eating...it's a discipline that needs to be learned, a habit that needs to be broken, a bondage that I dno't want to be held by.

Literally, food for thought. :)